So...my last entry was all about this being The Year of Getting Healthy. The year of getting rid of Bernice (my big belly who desperately wants to eat all of the foods on my no-no list that could not only make me more fat, but also land me in the hospital!) The year of exercising and getting strong. And, of course, using my SoulCollage® practice to help me through all of this.
And I was doing GREAT!
I had never heard of a "neuroma" until last week. In case you aren't familiar with this lovely thing, here's what the American Podiatric Medical Association (APMA) has to say about the neuroma: "a painful condition, also referred to as a 'pinched nerve' or a nerve tumor. It is a benign growth of nerve tissue frequently found between the third and fourth toes. It brings on pain, a burning sensation, tingling, or numbness between the toes and in the ball of the foot."
Painful? OMG...understatement!! Super sharp, STABBY PAINS in my middle toe and the ball of my foot when I: walk, stand, drive, put any kind of pressure on my foot at all. So, basically doing anything aside from sitting causes me lots of pain and causes me to make all kinds of terrible sounds like "UGH!" and "UMPH!" and "OW!" and "[Expletive] [expletive] [expletive] foot!!!!!"
The Year of Getting Healthy just took a major detour.
My body is forcing me to do a total 180.
And, as usual in my life, I have a hard time coping with sudden changes like this.
I. Had. A. Plan. ! ! !
Walk the treadmill 2.5 miles a day! Go to my Saturday weight loss challenge group exercise class! Do Body Combat class once a week! That was my plan!
And now my plan is in ruins.
So, do I turn to my SoulCollage® deck to try to help myself cope with this life plan detour? Do I turn to my intuition to figure out what I could do to keep going with my getting healthy plan just in a different way?
No...I do what any person would do...I mope. For five whole days I sit in our big comfy living room chair with my foot up on an ottoman and binge watch Season 5 of "The West Wing." And eat. More than I should. (Although we don't have much in the house that is "naughty" so it could have been much worse.)
Finally, on Friday I decide that moping is stupid and isn't going to help me achieve my health goals. I get out of my big comfy chair and limp my way to my studio (cursing the entire time) where I proceed to work. Update my website with new workshops. Finally make Facebook events for said upcoming workshops. Finish a SoulCollage® card that had been sitting unfinished on my drafting table for weeks. Make an appointment with the foot doctor. And make a list of exercise I can do that doesn't require putting weight on my foot: pilates, swimming, upper body weight lifting, some lower body weight lifting on the machines, mat work with a weighted medicine ball.
I realize now, of course, that my plan isn't necessarily in ruins...it just has to be altered to adjust to my current circumstances. I CAN still get healthy. I CAN still lose the weight. Just not using my original plan.
Hopefully my foot will heal and I'll be able to resume the exercise that I love most (walking). But for now I will try new things. I will adapt. AND, I will turn to my SoulCollage® practice to make cards that will help me explore why it is that I pretty much completely freak out and then shut down when my plans go awry.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes Turn and face the strange Ch-ch-changes...
When your life plans take a major detour, what do you do? Are you adaptable and do you change smoothly with them? Or do you find yourself freaking out and/or spinning your wheels?